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Andy's Filmania


Welcome to Andy's Filmania.. where you will be subjected to my extremely biased opinions on various films, ranging from current blockbuster pictures to classics to foreign films to hard-core porn( hmm.. maybe not) to slapstik comedies. Keep in mind that I am neither a professor of, nor am I a student in Film Critcology. I like a tha movies.. so I rate a tha movies. I hope you'll enjoy.

Guidelines

***** = Brahman - Immortal Classic
**** = Kshatriya - Superb film
*** = Vaishya - Decent effort
** = Shudra - Poor effort
* = Panchama - Garbage/Never should have been made

On with the reviews...

The Godfather
andy gives it a: *****
  • New York's head Mafia Family struggles to maintain it's power against a drug-lord and other Mafia organizations.
  • Excellent performances by Brando, Pacino, Kahn, Duvall, and Keaton.
  • Highpoints include Santino beating on Carlo Rizzi, and the Baptism sequence in the end.
  • One of the greatest movie, plot-wise, ever.



Swingers
andy gives it a: ****
  • A group of white-boys go bar hopping in LA.
  • Good performances all around.
  • The best part of the movie is either that dance sequence, or a conversation after an encounter with the "House of Pain" group.
  • A mildly entertaining movie, and great dialogue, but the plot is lacking and nothing really pulls you in.




Das Boot (German- "The Boat")
andy gives it a: ****
  • A documentary style film, which chronicles the life of German U-boat sailors, in the midst of some of World War II's most fierce naval battles.
  • Unbelievably good acting. It's hard to believe that these weren't the actual sailors.
  • The most exciting part is, without doubt, the attemp to cross the Strait of Gibralter.
  • A very well made movie. You're actually forced to sympathize with the German sailors.




Beverly Hills Ninja
andy gives it a: ***
  • Fat, white ninja battles LA thugs, for jewels or something.
  • Chris Farley is his usual loud, fat self. I wish Chris Rock would have gotten more lines.
  • The best part is when the fat guy yells and falls.
  • Not bad for a slapstick comedy. Not good for a movie.




A Clockwork Orange
andy gives it a: *****
  • A bunch of young Brits go out for a little "in/out" and "ultraviolence".
  • Good performances all around.
  • Perhaps the most important part in the film, is when Alex is conditioned to be repulsed by violence.
  • An excellent film. Lots of underlying messages. A very deep film.




The Vanishing (French/Dutch)
andy gives it a: ****
  • A frightening story of a man obssesed with finding his lost girlfriend, and another who considers his murder an art.
  • Great performances by the two lead actors.
  • The ending is superb. One of the best endings I've ever seen.
  • 'tis a chilling tale. Too bad most people see the American version.




The English Patient
andy gives it a: *****
  • Hungarian Count woos an English dame. And a Canadian nurse shanks an Indian soldier.
  • Great acting by everyone. Ralph Fiennes best performance to date.
  • There are so many stories being told, it's difficult to pick a favorite part. There's many good parts.
  • It's just a damn good movie.






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